The image of the baby she wrapped up and threw away would flash across her memory for a year afterwards. Stacy Massey, counselor and founder of Abortion Recovery InterNational (ARIN), said the visual memory of an RU486 abortion is the hardest. Massey lay on a table 30 years ago for her own abortion and played football the next day. But women who have a chemical abortion actually see—sometimes floating in a toilet or a shower—the graphic aftermath of their own abortions.
A seven-week unborn child already has brain waves, a mouth, lips, forming fingernails, eyelids, toes, and a nose. After women expell their unborn babies, they have to dispose of them. Massey said she once got a desperate call from a woman who said, "My baby's floating in the toilet. What do I do now? Do I flush it?" And one couple went to a hotel to have an abortion and the woman locked herself in the bathroom, sobbing and screaming.
The feelings of guilt can be more intense for women who have undergone chemical abortions, said Massey, since they themselves administered the pill while they were fully conscious: "For me who went and lay on a table, somebody else did it. Yes, I made the decision but I was always able to rationalize that. I didn't kill my own baby—somebody else did." Massey said that the trauma seems to be more severe with younger women since many older women have experienced natural miscarriages.
Our images of abortion should not only include dismembered babies, but now miscarried babies in toilets.