From Oz Conservative:
Are these feminists right? Do married men have all the autonomy they could ever hope for? Are they drowning in a privilege they seek to deny to others?
(...)
If a man held autonomy to be a key aim in life he would never marry and never consent to an active fatherhood. Marriage and fatherhood lock men into a life of work and responsibility in which there is rarely time or money for a man to do as he pleases.
(...)
Most men, though, do sacrifice the larger part of their autonomy to work, marry and have children. They do so because of an impulse to find love and a soul mate; because of a sense that becoming a husband and father are the proper "offices" for an adult male through which their lives are completed: because of the instinct to procreate to pass on something of themselves to future generations; and because of paternal instincts to have children to love and to guide to adulthood.
Men are in their natures protectors and so there is a level at which meeting the burdens of fatherhood is a self-fulfilment.
Why do feminists misunderstand men? The answer is that they are thinking ideologically. According to feminist patriarchy theory, men as a class invented gender as a social construct in order to secure the privilege of autonomy for themselves at the expense of oppressed women. Institutions like marriage, according to patriarchy theory, are designed to secure male privilege over women.
So if you're a feminist who accepts patriarchy theory you are likely to believe that men are motivated by a desire for power over women and that marriage secures for men a privilege of autonomy in which, unlike women, they have it easy and can do as they please.
And that's why they treat men so shabbily. For feminists, men have selfish motives and deserve to be scolded. When feminists are taken to task, they sarcastically brand themselves as "uppity women", casting themselves in the role of inferiors speaking truth to power. They see themselves as underdogs claiming what is rightfully theirs, when the rest of the world sees them as being ideologically absorbed and completely oblivious to anyone else's feelings or opinions. Their opinions, their feelings are the only ones that matter and conceding any ground to anyone else--either intellectually or emotionally-- threatens their ideological worldview. They are caught up in their own self-made matrix. They cannot give a moment's thought to the reactions of others. And that is why many people do not like feminists, regardless of their personal sympathies. Feminists are incapable of being considerate of people who fundamentally disagree with them. Nobody likes being categorically dismissed all the time.
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